Meaningful Conversation - Lets Grow
[ 11 Mar 2008 ]'The pace of modern Live means that we barely have time to connect. Everybody is rushing, rushing, rushing. When we do pause to converse, the potency of the interaction is often weak. Our power of listening is shallow. We listen to argue, we listen to agree we listen to interrupt, or we listen for an in-breath so that we can jump in with our point of view. What we often fail to do is create the space for meaningful conversations to take place.' Alexander & Renshaw (2005)
The point is that coaching or mentoring can facilitate a uniquely focused conversation, which enables the learner to gain new understanding and solutions. The quality of the conversation is determined by the mentor's intention.
We all have tremendous potential. Yet we also have the ability to interfere with it. Limiting beliefs is one form of interference. Other internal factors include a negative inner dialogue, confusion, a feeling of being over-whelmed, fear and an inability to focus. External distractions include our boss, an excessive workload, a lack of communication and unclear expectations.
A useful equation when thinking about fulfilling potential is:
Performance = Potential minus interference
Tim Gallway
As a coach or mentor, one of your key roles will be to help your learner identify the interference and devise strategies for eliminating or bypassing it. There are a number of models to help you do this. The GROW model is one of the most commonly used.
The GROW Model - as a coaching tool
The GROW Model is one of the best known and widely used coaching models. It provides a simple yet powerful framework for navigating a route through a coaching or learning session.
The GROW Model is described here as it applies to an individual session but part of its strength is that it can equally well be applied to a part of a session, or to series of sessions. In each case, the principle is the same.
As well as knowing where you are trying to get to, you need to know where you are starting from - the Current Reality. It is surprising how often this is the key part of a coaching session and that by just seeing clearly the situation (rather than what was thought or imagined to be the situation), the resolution becomes obvious and straightforward.
Once you know where you are and where you want to go, the next step is to explore what Options you have for getting there. A useful metaphor for GROW is a map: once you know where you are going (the goal) and where you are (current reality), you can explore possible ways of making the journey (options) and choose the best.
But this in itself is not enough - you must also have the motivation or Will to make the journey. The "W" is often taken to stand for a number of other elements of a session, all of which are important. Myles Downey in his book "Effective Coaching" suggests it stands for "Wrap-up"; others have it standing for What, Where, Why, When and How. But whatever is emphasised, the desired outcome from this stage is a commitment to action.
The GROW process has been presented sequentially here. In practice, it is a much less linear process which may start anywhere and revisit each of the stages several times. Often it is useful if lost in a session to turn the GROW Model to check out where to put attention.
How To Use The Tool:
Use the following steps to structure a coaching session:
Establish the Goal:
At the beginning of the session, work with the learner to define and agree the goal or outcome to be achieved. You should help your learner define a goal that is specific, measurable and realistic.
In doing this, it is useful to ask questions like:
"How will you know that you have achieved that goal?"
"How will you know the problem is solved?"
Examine Current Reality:
Next, ask the learner to describe their Current Reality. This is a very important step: Too often, people try to solve a problem without fully considering their starting point, and often they are missing some of the information they need to solve the problem effectively.
As the learner tells you about his or her Current Reality, the solution may start to emerge.
Useful coaching questions include:
"What is happening now?"
"What, who, when, how often"
"What is the affect or result of that?"
Explore the Options:
Once your learner has explored the Current Reality, it's time to explore what is possible - meaning, all the many possible options they have for solving the problem. Help your learner generate as many good options as possible, and discuss these.
Typical questions used to establish the options are:
"What else could you do?"
"What if this or that constraint were removed?
"What are the benefits and downsides of each option?"
"What factors will you use to weigh up the options?
Establish the Will (or Wrap-up):
By examining Current Reality and exploring the Options, your learner will now have a good idea of how he or she can achieve their Goal. That's great - but in itself, this may not be enough! So your final step as coach is to encourage your learner to commit to specific action. In so doing, you will help the team member establish his or her will and motivation.
Useful questions:
"So what will you do now ... and when?
"What could stop you moving forward?"
"And how will you overcome it?"
"Will this address your goal?"
"How likely is this option to succeed?"
"What else will you do?"
A GROW Meeting Framework
Until you feel comfortable with the model, you may find it useful to print off the framework below and use it to help you structure your meetings with your learner.
Step 1: Establish the TOPIC
Key questions:
- What would be the most valuable subject to focus on today?
- What topic do you want to address?
- What would you like to discuss today?
Step 2: Establish the Session Goal
- What specific output would make this session worthwhile?
- What would you like to take away from this session?
- What goal would you like to achieve as a result of this session?
- What outcome do you want to achieve?
- What would be most valuable to you as a consequence of this session?
Step 3: Establish the current Reality
- How do you see things at the moment?
- How do you feel about the situation?
- What do you want to happen?
- Tell me about your situation
- Describe your current understanding of the situation.
- What's going on?
- What control do you have?
- What have you done already?
- What has stopped you from doing anything more?
- What impact does the situation have?
- Who is involved?
- What are the consequences if things don't change?
Step 4: Work through the Options
What options do you have?
If you were an expert in this area what would you do?
What does your instinct tell you to do?
What could you do?
What possible solutions are available?
What are the different ways you could resolve this?
What have you tried before?
What have you seen others do?
I you had all the time in the world what would you do?
If you had no fear, what would you do?
What would you do if you could have a new beginning and start again?
Step 5: Establish the Will
What options most appeals to you?
Which option would make the biggest difference?
Can you see yourself doing this?
What connections or links do you see in the options that you have chosen?
Do any of the other options have any merit?
Which option is the front-runner?
If you could only take the one step that you believe would add the most value, what would it be?
The action committed to (ensure it is SMART)
The Missing Ingredient for High Performance - Super coaching. Graham Alexander and Ben Renshaw. ISBN 9781844137015
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